Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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