do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
