I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
