just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
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I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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