Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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