I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
