Please, let me fuck your mom
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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