Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
