in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
