he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
