Betty ford says i'm here all night
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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