I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am puke
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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