his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
