The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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