Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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