she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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