Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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