doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize