i jhust puked up my retainher.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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