We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
