I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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