I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
