Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
