i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
