VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's Friday. Sex?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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