12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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