dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize