youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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