I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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