I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
