i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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