Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
