So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Damn victory sex feels great
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
