I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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