eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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