If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she peed on how many people?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
