i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
