AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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