And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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