I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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