That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize