bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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