highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ugly people sure do ruin things
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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