i think i have herpe
just one?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
