I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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