Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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