yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
