I like to think it a success when the cops are called
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
