mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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