he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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