I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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