All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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