Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
