So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
