It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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