i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
