There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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