im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
